I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
