Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
