Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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