just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
