yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
