You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
