I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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