who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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