I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
