But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
