I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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