i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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