What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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