Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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