You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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