we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
false alarm, still single
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
