whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
