There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
