I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
false alarm, still single
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
