She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
