please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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