you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
