She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
