Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
