Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
