so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
