we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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