Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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