This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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