I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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