So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever