so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.