I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season