just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We are all done wearing pants today
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
