5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
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Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve