Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
