Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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