hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I did not marry a roomba.
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