Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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