imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
