I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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