So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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