I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
