they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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