Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
