these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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