Have you finally orgasmed yet?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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