this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize