Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Farmville is her only friend.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
