Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
