That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
