I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
