Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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