i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
