also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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