she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
