I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize