he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize