and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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