Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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