I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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