I love black thongs
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
