Absence makes the cock grow harder.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
