Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
