you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
