Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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